Kimi no Haato e
by Shirohane
Summary: Over cakes and chocolates, Hikaru and Waya discuss their weakness and the reason to play go. Mild and sappy Waya x Hikaru.


Disclaimer: The work "Hikaru no GO" is in no way associated with the author of this fan fiction, hence it's a fan fiction. The manga/animation are copyrighted by Hota Yumi, Obata Takashi, Shueisha, etc. Besides, my go is so bad that even Shindo during first few episodes could probably beat me, so there is no way that an animation with such high level of go games could belong to me... Games that makes me use my head is bad! Bad! ^^;; (Besides, _shogi_ is more fun...)

* * * * *

"Shindo!"

At the familiar voice, Hikaru turned his head and broadly grinned when he recognized the person who had called him.

"Waya, what are you doing here?" Hikaru asked. Yoshitaka shrugged.

"Hanging out at a go-salon. I should be asking you the same question. I thought you didn't have a game today?"

Hikaru looked annoyed at that. "I don't, but Touya thought Yashiro-san, he, and I should get together to plan strategies for the upcoming three country competition. He's so uptight!"

"Aa... right," Yoshitaka said. "You three must be busy preparing for the competitions. I didn't congratulate you for being a team member yet, right? Come on, I'll treat you to something." 

Hikaru looked surprised at that. He shook his head, causing the black and gold strands of his hair to mingle together before falling messily over his eyes. "No... You don't have to! It isn't like Waya is my teacher or anything. Just congratulatory words are enough."

"Are you refusing the generosity of your upperclassman?" Yoshitaka asked in mock-anger, planting his hands upon his sides. "I should kick your ass for this!"

Hikaru lightly laughed at the sudden display of "upperclassman" act. Both he and Yoshitaka knew that age and experience in the world of go did not mean as much as they would in other professions. "Okay, Mr. Upperclassman," Hikaru said, placing an unnecessary emphasis on the word 'upperclassman.' "Just don't cry when I leave your wallet empty."

"Then I won't offer to treat you next time," Yoshitaka retorted. He pushed his hands in his pant pockets and started to walk ahead. "There is a bakery around here that has really good cakes. Or would you like to eat something else?"

"Nah, sugar is good. I need some sugar." Hikaru hurried his steps to catch up to Yoshitaka. "...na."

"Yeah?" Hikaru almost bumped into Yoshitaka when he suddenly stopped to open the door to the bakery. He dug the heel of his shoes to the ground and flailed his arms in circles before he gained his balance again and followed Yoshitaka into the shop. Thank goodness Yoshitaka continued to walk ahead and did not spare Hikaru a glance to see the embarrassing scene. Come to think of it, for the last few days Yoshitaka did not look at Hikaru directly in the eyes and was overly cheerful. 

Hikaru sat down on the chair across from Yoshitaka and tried to meet his eyes, but Yoshitaka stared at the napkins on the table. Right. Napkins. Fascinating.

"Waya, you've been really weird lately."

"Really," Yoshitaka dryly said.

"Yeah, really. This isn't like you at all." Hikaru tapped against Yoshitaka's hand with his index finger to try to get Yoshitaka to look at him. He failed. "Are you upset that you didn't get into the tournament? Is that what's bugging you?"

"...that's not really the reason. Not at all."

The waitress came to take their orders. Cream and fruit vanilla cake for Yoshitaka, strawberry shortcake and double chocolate mousse for Hikaru. Coffee and vanilla milkshake. Yoshitaka started to ask if Hikaru won't feel sick after eating all that sugar, but Hikaru cut him off.

"Then what's the reason? Did I do something to make you upset?"

"No, it's not you." Yoshitaka lightly sighed. He lifted his head to look at Hikaru broodingly. "It's just... I've rather grown to hate myself lately."

"Eh? Why?" Hikaru's eyes widened almost comically. Yoshitaka found it amusing that Hikaru would be so surprised. Well, Hikaru really did not have a reason to think about such things, did he? He didn't have a reason to hate himself.

"I was scared."

"About what?"

"Remember when we first talked about the China-Japan-Korean go tournament? I said that I'm also here; that I will also become a member of the Japanese team." Yoshitaka stopped and looked at the napkin again. Hikaru was confused. He couldn't see the connection between the previous conversation and this reminder. Yoshitaka spoke again. "When I was paired up with Ochi, I was happy. I wished to face neither you nor the Kansai guy. I wanted to win, Shindo! I didn't want to face hard opponents!"

Finally a sliver of understanding dawned. Hikaru shook his head. "I understand that... Everyone wants to win, Waya, it's nothing to be ashamed of--"

"Yes, it is. I'm a coward."

Their cakes arrived, but both boys ignored them. Yoshitaka gripped the napkin so tightly in his hands that it started to rip. "You always look forward to challenges, Shindo. You are happy when you have to face stronger opponents. But I'm not strong like that. It feels like everyone is watching me standing on the edge of the cliff, eagerly waiting for me to fall down, to die alone, to--"

"Waya." Hikaru slowly shook his head. His face was unusually serious. "I'm scared, too. Yashiro-san's power almost overwhelmed me. It's really scary when I face really strong opponents. But you are an idiot."

Yoshitaka stared at Hikaru until the words registered.

"Say what?"

"Why is Waya playing go?" Hikaru took a sip of his milkshake. "Do you play to win? To rise to high level dan? Is that your only purpose? Your proof of existence?"

"Why... For what else would I play it for?" Yoshitaka asked. It was his turn to be confused. Hikaru shook his head again before grinning his annoyingly bright smile.

"Waya... Don't be silly. Playing go is fun!"

Yoshitaka was astonished. He had been so focused in not being left behind-- in an attempt to catch up to geniuses of Hikaru and Akira-- that he had completely forgotten. The thrill of taking an enemy stone. The fun of thinking up of strategies for taking as much territory as possible with least moves. The excitement in discovering moves that would instantly turn flow of games. The one movement that can suppress all others-- the hand of God. Yoshitaka lifted his head to stare at Hikaru. Hikaru's eyes softened understandingly.

"Please remember. It's between you and your partner; two people's universe. Every stone counts so much. It's scary to fight against really strong opponents, but you get to be that much stronger, you get to grow. And you can never tell what will happen on top of a _goban_. Isn't that why you play? Because it's fun?"

The corner of Yoshitaka's lips curled into a small smile. he scratched the nape of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah..."

Hikaru started to eat his cakes, and Yoshitaka followed suit. Hikaru thoughtfully chewed on the gooey mass of sticky chocolates. "Besides, I'm not all that strong, either. To catch up to that person-- to make that person proud of my go-- I have to be so much strong. And for that, I can't hesitate."

"You're playing for Sai?"

It was more of a statement than a question. Hikaru choked on his cake. He struggled with the last bite of chocolate before he snapped, "What gave you _that_ idea?!" 

"Because Sai is... a very important person to you, isn't he?" Yoshitaka quietly asked. "I don't understand the relationship between you and him, but... When you were in a slump, you said that 'he isn't here anymore.' And now you have to try so hard because he is not here, because you have to live up to him, play for his sake--"

"You're wrong!" Hikaru glared at Yoshitaka. "I have nothing to do with Sai!"

"Shindo, do you take me for an idiot?!" Yoshitaka fumed. He abruptly stopped and turned his head away. "Forget it. If you don't want to tell me, I'm not going to ask."

The boys finished their sweets in silence. When Yoshitaka paid for his food and stood up, Hikaru stood up with him and softly said, "Sorry."

Yoshitaka turned his head to look at Hikaru, a bit surprised. Both he and Hikaru were pointlessly stubborn. It came as a surprise that Hikaru looked so remorseful. "No... I shouldn't have yelled at you. It was my bad," Yoshitaka said. "And after you helped me to hate myself less, too. Let's reconciliate?"

Hikaru nodded, lifting his head to smile at Yoshitaka. Yoshitaka returned the smile. They walked out of the bakery and slowly walked down the streets. Many shops featured pink and red hearts in honor of upcoming Saint Valentine's Day.

"A~a. This sucks. No chocolate this year, either." Yoshitaka muttered. Hikaru looked surprised.

"Eh? Waya looked like the type that'd be popular among girls?"

Yoshitaka rolled his eyes. "What girl? There aren't girls our age at go-salons or among the pros. I don't go to school anymore, remember?"

Hikaru chuckled. "Yeah, come to think of it, we don't have much opportunity to meet girls our age... And our profession doesn't make us really popular among girls, either. I forget, because Akari always gives me some chocolates during Valentine's Day."

"Say what?! You have a girl who would give you a chocolate?! Why you sly little...!" Yoshitaka cried, trapping Hikaru in a headlock. He rubbed his fist against Hikaru's head, and Hikaru laughed and struggled.

"Waya~! She's only childhood friend! Stop being jealous!"

Yoshitaka stopped laughing with Hikaru and let him go to press his forehead against a display window. Various fancy chocolates lay wrapped in colorful papers and ribbons. "Ah! I wanted to eat that one! How come they only carry that during Valentine's Day period?!"

"Why don't you buy it?" Hikaru asked. Yoshitaka lightly smacked Hikaru's head.

"Because it's pathetic to buy chocolates for yourself when it's Valentine's Day, dummy! I'm not that desperate."

"Let's go look at the chocolates," Hikaru suggested. Before Yoshitaka had a chance to reply, Hikaru ran ahead into the store.

"It's embarrassing for only boys to go to a store filled with pink stuff," Yoshitaka grumbled, but he followed Hikaru.

Hikaru was kneeling over various displays of sweets. When Yoshitaka approached him, he pointed at a box of chocolates. "Ne, this was the one that you wanted?"

"No, the dark chocolate," Yoshitaka said, pointing to a box next to the one that Hikaru had pointed out. Hikaru frowned. 

"Isn't dark chocolate the really bitter one?"

"Yeah, it's stronger than the milk chocolates," Yoshitaka agreed, picking up the box of chocolates and examining it. "What's up with the pink wrappings?"

"You have a really strange taste," Hikaru commented. He picked up the box and walked over to the cashier to pay for it. Yoshitaka curiously watched him. Did he want to try it? But why would he spend so much money on chocolates that he wouldn't even like? It was apparent that Hikaru was not a big fan of not-sweet food. 

"Are you going to buy anything?" Hikaru asked. Yoshitaka shook his head and walked out of the store, closely followed by Hikaru. Yoshitaka turned around to ask Hikaru why he bought the chocolates and almost got smacked by the chocolates that Hikaru thrust at his face.

"Here, I'll give this to you."

Yoshitaka instinctively took the chocolates and blinked at them, then stared at Hikaru. "...huh? Why?"

"You said you wanted it, but didn't want to buy it yourself," Hikaru explained. "It's okay now, right?"

"Uh. Yeah. But why are you buying me chocolates? I mean, you know, it being almost Valentine's Day and all. You're not buying it for me for Valentine's, are you?"

Hikaru frowned. "Whatever. It's okay, isn't it? Since we're friends and all. You don't want it?"

Yoshitaka stared at the box of chocolates in his hands again. "No, it's not that, but... If you would give chocolates to anyone, I thought it'd be someone like... Touya. Because your eyes are always on him..."

"Don't be stupid. He's my rival and you're my friend. Ever since we were insei-tachi, you're the one who was always by my side, who always cheered me on. The one who told me not to be stupid when I was in a slump." Hikaru smiled. "I like you better."

Yoshitaka's cheeks turned into similar pink that the wrapping of the chocolates in his hands was. He lowered his head to try to hide the blush. He couldn't help the pleased smile that tugged at his lips. "Um, then, I'll take it."

"You should buy me one, too," Hikaru brightly said. "I like milk chocolates. White chocolates are good, too!"

"I'll buy you one at White Day," Yoshitaka said, turning around to leave. Hikaru scowled.

"What? You've got to be kidding me! Then I'm the girl?!"

"What did you think? Did you think that _I'd_ be the girl?" Yoshitaka scoffed as Hikaru hurried to catch up with his larger steps. Hikaru's scowl deepened.

"I don't like that! Buy me chocolates right now! Waya, you cheapskate! You didn't even thank me!"

Yoshitaka suddenly turned around and pulled Hikaru to his arms. Hikaru squeaked as he nearly fell over at the sudden movement. Yoshitaka's arms steadied him, then his lips lightly brushed against Hikaru's cheek. Hikaru's eyes widened, and he hurriedly pulled away to gawk at Yoshitaka. He pressed his hand against his cheek.

"Thanks. Happy Valentine's Day, Hikaru."

Yoshitaka's smile was very warm. Hikaru felt his cheeks burning up. He suddenly didn't mind that he would be getting the chocolates on White Day. Yoshitaka's hand found his. Hikaru slowly lifted his head to meet Yoshitaka's eyes.

"...Happy Valentine's Day... Yoshitaka-kun."

* * * * *

Owari

Sappy, PG material? What happened to you, Shiro?! Aw, but it's Valentine's Day! ^^;; I had a lot of trouble writing "Yoshitaka" instead of "Waya" because I'm used to calling Waya by his last name. But it won't be fair if I call Shindo by his first name, but call Waya by his last name, right? 

I had to write something on Waya because he was so very uncool in the 2004 New Year Special of "Hikaru no GO"! ^^;; Waya is my favorite character because he's so sweet and insightful. He almost figured out Sai's true identity! But he was the worst in the newest episode. So I tried to do a little character study, because he is a pretty complicated character. On the contrary, Yashiro was so very cool! Maybe it's the Kansai accent~ I love Kansai accent so much X3

Nn, by the way, White Day is Japanese/Korean thing. On Valentine's Day, girls give chocolates to guys that they like. Then a month later, guys would return the favor on White Day by giving chocolates to girls that they like, or as thank-you gift. Horrible, ne? It's surely a conspiracy by crazy candy manufacturers! ^^;; 


End file.
